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screaming from the roof top

Ok so I went into boston yesterday...
I saw the department head of Adolscent medicine in one of the top hospitals in the country... he told me the truth... I was happy he did... every doctor Ive seen has tried to sugar coat these things which i need to know... but at the same time... Im scared... the news is never good... what do I do?

My lungs... they tell my Chest x-rays always look good unless I have yet another case of pneumonia... as I talked to the new doctor about them... he looked at an old x-ray from a month ago... he looked at me and said... how is this lung healthy.. he pointed out the scarring... he looked at me and asked.... have you been tested for CF? and I looked at him and giggled... me CF? Im the chubbiest... Cfer EVER!... He simply looked at me then looked back at x-ray and said either way your lungs are really really bad... My heart sunk... So all this time... ive been told Im fine... when really Im not....

So we did blood test after blood test... after ten sticks they got the blood they needed... simply I get too much blood taken and I have no veins left..

Now I wait for them to call... I sit here scared of what the voice on the other side will say... am I going to be Ok?

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
lapin_musical
Sep. 28th, 2010 09:35 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking good thoughts for you!
laxluver
Sep. 28th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC)
thanks !!!
ftemery
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:03 am (UTC)
Stupid lungs. I think they deserve a severe lecture for deceiving you so long. I'm prone to running through the worst case scenario to prepare myself - it's scary as hell and then you're done with it and - it's not scary any more. Is that some way of facing my fears? I guess it helps if you know what to face. It's 4 pm here - so I guess you get to wait till tomorrow or whenever - I hate that the more important the news, the longer you have to wait!
laxluver
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
In my mind Im trying to convince myself that the tests came back negative... if they didnt call me right away then it cant be too bad... I hope... thanks for all the good thoughts!!!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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